Unearthing
Eboni Alexandria
I’ll admit I jumped on the ~*.spiryTuAL not religeouz~*•. train a few years back after a lifetime of being hurt by humans masquerading as leaders in an institution that only represented god in name rather than in practice. I swore that if the judgement, gossip, and pigheaded self righteousness represented the one we were praying to, I didn’t want to be a part of it. For years after leaving the church I touted the fun trendy words like creator, higher power, universe, light, etcetcetc. with a vague impression of what I WISHED my ruling force would be. Understanding, kind, and divine. All knowing, but lenient. Present on my terms. Now don’t get me wrong, non denominational words/names/spaces are necessary to bring worshippers of all faiths together. Pushing past which character was prophet, savior, disciple, or king allows us to see the truth all the books are leading us to and those descriptors of the spirit we serve open the door for the limitlessness of it. Who is your ruling power, really? Do you know what you are serving? What guidelines are you holding your heart to when no one’s watching? In my case, this linguistic switch caused a subconscious idol to form that served my spiritual agenda. In my eyes, my higher self wouldn’t tell me no, it wants me to always have my hearts desires! The “almighty light being” sees that person wronged me in the past, so that justifies me taking karma into my own hands. Or, my personal favorite: I don’t subscribe to that book’s teachings, so I can go off my gut feelings that were bestowed on me by the universe. On and on, I twisted the narrative of a higher power as it fit my whims. I wandered aimlessly from egotistical indulgences, as well meaning as they may’ve been, and felt more and more lost with every step I took. The truth is those sacred teachings and spiritual guides were given to us as a pathway. They serve purpose by embodying the figures we need to have an orderly life that abides by the sacred ruling power of all things: love. On my journey, I found my rebellion to recognize God as my higher power was a deep psychological refusal to have discipline, accountability, and strength. Part of me didn’t want to serve the character that was used as a weapon most of my life. Another part didn’t believe it was worthy of the His love. I had to overcome the animosity I had for the human projection of the Christian practice upheld in churches to be able to step back and accept the teachings. I had to humble myself enough to accept the father paradigm to become more accountable and disciplined. I had to allow myself to feel convicted enough to surrender and begin seeking again. This piece isn’t about getting everyone on board with My Guy or reading His book- it’s to call attention to the fact our society has stayed from ancient teachings to embrace the trend of being a breathy beaded glowy spiritual~*•.*~.• figure with no actual foundation of truth to stand on. Without truth, we are blind and so incredibly lost. How can we say we’re growing closer to the divine if we’re not even sure who it is? Going forward, for the sake of my own accountability when speaking in terms of the divine and all its forms, I’ll be using His name. My hope is that you’ll take what you need and leave the parts that may not align for you. Or don’t. As for me and my house… I know who I serve. Live Personal Sessions
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Children from healthy homes
Get whisked away to spas Play team sports and get out in social clubs They’re touched. They’re talked to. They’re seen. Children from abusive homes Spend time crafting escape plans Remain isolated and kept around toxic people. They’re bruised. They’re yelled at. They’re neglected. The path leading away from the traumatic past is uncertain and suspicious. Healthy, thriving relationships without cause for suffering seem like they don’t quite fit. Desperately the heart grasps at the unknown, while every other cell in the body screams “I shouldn’t be here”. Trauma survivors are left with the task of revealing the toxic internalization of family dynamics and the ways they manifest on a daily basis. I’m no psychiatrist- just here doing my own work. I believe we have the capacity to help one another heal. For those touched by trauma- I’ve found solace the embodiment of the "loving nurturer" and "revered protector". Allowing them to dwell harmoniously within, nourishing the inner child, and making happy heart-home. The act varies in each situation but adheres to modeling a familial dynamic conducive of a flourishing spirit. The outer realm houses resources like therapy and support groups to make this task less daunting. Those with a more supportive upbringing that fostered greater emotional intelligence and stability can offer graciousness. When encountering these souls-and by design suffering their wounds, realize they may not have the capacity to exist outside of past pain yet. If there is room and it is safe, model compassion they’ve never known with boundaries and understanding, and accountability. If not, politely disengage and send the spirit their way. We are all part of the human experience. When we show up for each other in gracious compassion, we heal and our kind survives another epoch, more resilient and wiser than the last. As Ram Dass once said "We're all just walking each other home." The mind takes the shortest journey to cipher its reality and that's not always in alignment with truth.
self-re·al·i·za·tion noun: self-realization; fulfillment of one's own potential.The prompts could be used for journaling or pointing the awareness during meditative activities like yoga, biking, creating art, walking, etc. Below are photos for my friends on mobile and downloadable PDFs if you'd like to print . Enjoy!
When we experience trauma, our sense of time gets blurred. The moment it happens expands into what feels like an eternity. Somehow, the world spins... and yet this reality has halted. The motions of everyday life begin to feel feigned and the version of identity confined within time withers.
Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones of the like loom ominously overhead. Often it triggers growth stunting risky, behavior, and self sabotage. To alleviate this pain, we have to reflect, make things worth looking forward to, and consistently ground into the almighty present. The mind consists of beliefs and biases based off of memories. Memories! The perceived interpretations of past events. The mind will never roll the tape back on exactly what happened; only how it made you feel. From there it intensifies certain details and drops anything that don’t support those emotions. This becomes a subconscious routine used when encountering a new situation, forming the ego.
There is a game of perception going on,
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Eboni AlexandriaI radiate brightest while nurturing and teaching. This earth’s received me as a healer and guide through modalities of yoga/meditation, community, and curation. Everyday I strive to unearth boundless potential in myself and the world. Archives
April 2023
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